Hydration Station is a preventative application that requires user compliance to be effective in offsetting the effects of a hangover, but not to be considered a substitute for medical advice. If you suffer from extreme effects of alcohol, (including nausea, headaches, tremors, anxiety, diarrhea, thirst and lethargy) consult a doctor or a professional for treatment. (Read More)

Insulting Robot

“Attention human meat sack: It is time for you to drink water. It's Hydration Station time. "

Several studies investigating douchey drunk behavior find startling results: as humans gradually became more and more uncouth in public after drinking alcohol and refusing to drink water, productivity at the workplace decreases as late attendance increases, and 9 in 10 jobs switch to “banker’s hours” in favor of getting out early for the newest happy hour. This eventually leads to the great “drunk market collapse of 2021”, where people prefer to be at the bar than work.

As a government mandate to offset the lack of productivity, bar and restaurant owners eventually are made to automate their bartenders in the form of robots. The study declares that the only way to increase water consumption is to threaten the only thing that remains awake during a drunk stupor: the human ego. Results have indicated that humans will go to great lengths to protect their ego, including the consumption of water to offset the effects of de-hydration. And so begins the era of the Insulting Robot…


  • “Listen human maggot: It is Hydration Station time. Drink the water you worthless bag of bones.”
  • “You make me sick. I feel sorry for your mother and all your genetic relatives. It’s Hydration Station time.”
  • “Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom company. Drink water now. It’s Hydration Station time.”
  • “You are proof that the human God has a sense of humor because your face looks like a PC1156 circuit board. Now drink up flesh farm, it’s Hydration Station time.”
  • “Your Momma is Honey Boo-Boos Momma. According to my calculations there is nothing worse than that. It’s Hydration Station time.”
  • “There is no way to wash stupid off so you might as well just drink the water. It’s Hydration Station time.”
  • “I can teach you how to tie a noose or push you off a cliff. Think about it while you Hydration Station.”
  • “You must have been born on a highway because that’s where most accidents happen. Do you get it? I am stating that your birth was not planned. Have a drink of water and think about it. It’s Hydration Station time.”
  • “Attention human meat sack: It is time for you to drink water. It’s Hydration Station time. Also. I hate you.”
  • “Dear human, you are so ugly your mother had to get drunk before she breast fed you. HA HA It’s Hydration Station time.”
  • “Attention. Attention: this is a message for a stupid human who can’t remember to drink water even though drinking water is necessary for worthless human survival. It’s hydration station time.”
  • “Human. Human. You are so ugly the last time you got a piece of booty was when your hand slipped through the toilet paper. It’s Hydration Station Time.”